Wednesday, 24 June 2009

• Fifty Things I’ve Learned in Fifty Years

   

  1.     Invest in your relationship with God.  No other activity will yield more beneficial results over the course of your life.

   

  2.     Find a body of believers (church) where you can really feel as if you “fit in.” Then become an active part of that church’s ministry, in any way you can.  Your brothers and sisters in Christ are an extended family that will help you through the crises that are sure to come over the years.

   

  3.     Read the whole Bible as many times as you can.  All of it is God’s Word and every time through you’ll find many things you don’t remember reading before.  I find I really enjoy reading the Bible with a specific goal—say, to find out everything that God has to say about missions, or raising children, etc.

   

  4.     Memorize Scripture.  I was forced to memorize five verses a week as a child, and I consider that one of my most serious adult failures is that I haven’t imposed a similar discipline on my own children.  Nothing compares to having Gods’ word in your heart and mind, accessible all the time.

   

  5.     Learn and memorize hymns, not just contemporary worship songs.  The old hymns of the faith are full of spiritual “meat” that will sustain you time after time when things get rough.  If you know them by heart, you will be able to hum those lovely old tunes and hear the majestic words in your head even if you don’t sing them out loud.

   

  6.     Friendship is worth the risk.  No matter how many times you get hurt or betrayed, it’s still worth it to invest in friendships with others.  My friends are among my most prized treasures.  My Christian friends and family members have the unique distinction of being the only treasures I can have in heaven!

   

  7.     Cultivate kindness.  From childhood, I tried very hard to be kind to others because others so often were not kind to me.  Kindness does not cost anything.  One kind act or word, however, can make someone else’s day!  One of the best compliments I ever received was when a childhood friend told me that the main thing she remembered about me as a kid was that I was kind.

   

  8.     Don’t let people get on your nerves. The older I get, the more tolerant I’ve become.  Not of sin or evil, of course, but of those little quirks that used to get on my nerves.  I wish I had developed this skill earlier.  People who are fussy, fearful, or boring used to really irritate me.  Now I am usually able to look past annoying behaviors and just love and care about the person behind them.  Life is so much more enjoyable this way.  People are still just as irritating—I just don’t mind so much any more.

   

  9.     Forgive people who have hurt you.  If they aren’t repentant and don’t desire a restored relationship with you, still forgive them for your own sake.  Give that pain to God and move on with your life.

   

  10.     Don’t hold on to hurt or resentment from the past.  It can poison your whole life.  I have many things in my past that could have crippled me as an adult.  No one would blame me if I still was suffering from these past experiences.  But that would be letting the “bad guys” win.  No one who has hurt me in the past is going to be allowed to continue hurting me now because I can’t let go of the bitterness.

   

  11.   If someone is cruel or unkind to you, don’t lash back. Remind yourself that people who act that way 1) are probably in pain themselves, and 2) really, really need a demonstration of God’s love, not human retaliation.  Pray for that person instead of responding in kind.

   

  12.    Be loyal.  A loyal friend is one of the greatest gifts on this good earth, and you can give the gift of loyalty to those you love.  Make sure your friends and family know that you will stick by them through thick and thin.  Be the person they can always count on.

   

  13.  Avoid gossip.  Every now and then, pay attention to what you are actually saying about others when you get in a conversation.  Is it kind?  Is it helpful? When others start gossiping, stop them.  Say something like, “Oh my goodness, I would really hate to think that anyone was talking about me like that!” Then put in a good word for the victim.  It won’t be long before you will not hear gossip anymore because people will know you don’t tolerate it.

   

  14.   Reading is the most important skill you learn in school.  If you can read, you can learn anything else.  If you don’t love reading, keep doing it until you do love it!

   

  15.   Read as much as you can, on any topic that interests you and also on topics you think probably won’t interest you.  You might be surprised!

   

  16.   Read great stories.  Read them more than once.  Every Christian, for instance (in my opinion) needs to read Les Misérables at least twice in their adult life.  There is so much meat and food for thought in that one novel that it’s worth wading through Hugo’s bloated prose.

   

  17.  Read aloud to your children, and keep reading aloud to your children as they grow up.  Don’t stop!

   

  18.   Never stop learning.  Don’t be afraid to learn a new skill. In fact, make a point of learning new skills!  It will keep your brain young.

   

  19.   Stay curious.  Ask questions.  Be willing to make some effort to find the answers.

   

  20.   Cultivate a sense of adventure. Take every opportunity to go somewhere new and try something you’ve never done.

   

  21.   Learn to appreciate other cultures, and let go of the idea that our culture is not just “different” from others but also “better.”  Different is interesting!

   

  22.    Let go of perfectionism (I’m still working on this one!).  If you enjoy something, it is okay if you’re not perfect at it.  If, for instance, banging out old-time hymns (badly) on the piano makes you happy, then why not do it often?  Who cares if you’re not “good” enough to play in church?  God recognizes a joyful noise when He hears one!  And if it brings joy to your heart, then it is a valid thing to do.

   

  23.   Treasure your family—both the one you were born into and the one you gave birth to. They can and should be your lifelong best friends. Focus on what you have in common (including years of shared experience), not on what they do that drives you crazy.

   

  24.   Talk less and listen more.  Ask people about themselves and find out what makes them tick.  Most likely, you will make a lot of new friends this way. (Or at least gather lots of great material for future writing projects . . . )

   

  25.  Be dependable.  If someone asks you to do something and you agree to it, then make it a priority and make sure it gets done.  Don’t get a reputation as one who never follows through.

   

  26.   Learn to say no.  Rehearse your priorities and pray about them so that when you are asked to do something “good” that would, for instance, take away precious time with your family, you can say no with a clear conscience.

   

  27.   Don’t allow yourself to begin doing something that you know is habit-forming and unhealthful, even if you are pressured to do so.  Never “try” a cigarette or a glass of beer, especially if you know you are prone to addictive behavior.  Sadly, I even must include caffeinated beverages here.  A cup of tea is a beautiful thing, but decaf is probably the way to go in terms of long-term health.

   

  28.   Never underestimate your own or someone else’s stupidity.  Accept the fact that from time to time you will do stupid things.  Possibly you will do some extremely stupid things.  Your life will be immeasurably more pleasant if you can accept this fact and learn to laugh at your own stupidity and forgive yourself for it.  And when others are stupid?  Forgive them too, because really, we’re all in this together.

   

  29.   Just because you do stupid things does not mean you are a stupid person, and don’t let anyone try to tell you otherwise.  We all are entitled to regular and frequent withdrawals from our LSA (Lifetime Stupidity Allowance).

   

  30.   Don’t turn to food for comfort.  No amount of food in the world will heal a broken heart.  Instead, run to your Heavenly Father and take comfort in Him.

   

  31.   Learn how to garden.  There is something ridiculously satisfying about eating something that you grew yourself or seeing a vase of your own flowers on the table.  My “garden” this year consists primarily of my steel bathtub—but I’m still enjoying it greatly. I’m glad I went to a school where “gardening” was actually a required activity that everyone had to do.

   

  32.     Make music part of your life. Not just popular music, but classical music that has stood the test of time (centuries).  It is worth the effort it might take to learn to appreciate classical music if you’ve never had much exposure to it.  Some of this music is absolutely sublime, and it will enrich your whole life if you welcome it into your world.

   

  33.   Pick a creative hobby and become skilled (or even mediocre) at it—whether it’s painting, sewing, knitting, quilting, or woodworking.  Creating something with your own hands satisfies a need that can’t be met any other way.

   

  34.    Spend time with kids.  If you don’t have any of your own, borrow some.  Kids are so wonderfully energetic and positive and enthusiastic and imaginative.  They are an antidote to so much of what goes on in adult life. And childhood flashes by so quickly—when it comes to doing something with kids, you just can’t “wait till later.”  When “later” comes they’ll be in college!

   

  35.   Work hard at being content.  This is something that you can learn from children, by the way.  A child can be happy anywhere—so can you.  Don’t live in the past, no matter how wonderful it was, or in the future, when you hope all your dreams will come true.  Appreciate each day of the present.

   

  36.   Part of contentment is loving what you’ve got. Don’t compare your possessions with what others have. If your friend has a gleaming luxury vehicle and you drive an old junker, learn to love that junker.  Take care of it and maintain it to the best of your ability.  And thank God for your economical transportation.

   

  37.   Learn to appreciate teenagers.  Sure, they come with massive amounts of drama included, but they’re also smart and funny and curious and inventive and fun!  Can you tell I love teenagers? They are my favorite age to teach because they really think about things and there’s nothing more exciting than engaging a young person’s mind.

   

  38.   Write letters. I love modern technology and the immediacy of e-mail.  But a real letter on real paper trumps an e-mail every time.  Many people feel this way, so take the time to sit down and write notes to people you care about from time to time. It will make their day!

   

  39.   Be hospitable.  If it doesn’t come naturally, learn how to be a welcoming host or hostess.  The Bible says we are to be “given” to hospitality.  It doesn’t add, “but only if you’re rich and have a perfect house and are a gourmet cook.” Don’t ever invite someone over with the expectation of a return invitation.  Just pray that you’ll be a blessing to everyone you have in your home.

   

  40.   And furthermore, make a point of having people over that you know will not be able to reciprocate—singles and college kids who are far from home and family.  Or young families with multiple kids who virtually never get asked over for dinner. It’s an enjoyable way to minister to someone else and be a blessing. And I assure you, you will be blessed in return.

   

  41.   Never stop dreaming. But don’t just dream. Write down steps you can take to make your dreams come true—and then follow through and do them.

   

  42.  Never go anywhere without a pocket knife and a pair of scissors (the scissors can be part of the pocket knife).

   

  43.   Don’t turn the TV on just to see what’s on.  If you insist on having a TV, read the schedule, pick something that you think is worth watching, and watch that one thing.  TV is an incredibly effective time waster.  If you don’t believe me, log every minute you spend watching TV for a week—time when you most likely weren’t accomplishing anything. (Admittedly, knitters/crocheters/cross-stitchers have an edge here since they can get quite a lot accomplished while watching TV.)

   

  44.   Video/computer games are in a league of their own when it comes to wasting time. Don’t let anyone convince you that they are “educational.” What they are educating you to do is waste vast quantities of time acquiring “virtual” skills, like “strumming” a non-functional guitar or “driving” an imaginary vehicle. I loathe them in all their permutations. I still remember the days when young people (well, some young people) spent their time learning useful skills or working at a paying job or exercising their bodies.

   

  45.   Pantyhose are evil.

   

  46.   Sugar is evil and addicting.  If, like me, you can’t eat it in moderation, then just avoid it completely. No serious person would claim that sugar has any nutritional benefit.  Its primary function seems to be to make food taste so good that you just keep eating and eating and eating . . .

   

  47.    High heels are also evil, no matter how attractive they may appear.  And they are so very bad for your feet.

   

  48.   Spend time outdoors whenever you can, even when it’s hot, cold, rainy, or windy outside. God created this planet just for us and it is full of ever-changing beauty that you will miss if you just go from building to car and back again.

   

  49.   Watch as many sunsets and sunrises as you can.  God provides them for free every single day.

   

  50.   When all else fails, and even if nothing has failed at all, make yourself a cup of tea, and savor every sip!

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